If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
