i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
