This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
