What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Banned from zoo.
Again?
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
