I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
