Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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