I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
