i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
