Got a toothbrush?
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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