spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
