Got a toothbrush?
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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