About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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