i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Randomize
