I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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