so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
