I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
