I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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