I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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