I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
