Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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