a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
