3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
