I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
