And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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