is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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