I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Randomize
