I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
