Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
he thought i was a dude.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
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