we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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