And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
