He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
