we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
