i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
