honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
