it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
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