Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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