Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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