chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Randomize
