you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
