ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
