Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
That was an excessively violent trivia night
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
