Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Randomize
