Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Randomize
