we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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