'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
