And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
