I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
