Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
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