dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
