The brown eye won't let me do that either.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
