We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
